Friends there is no way I could break this last week down on a day to day rundown. First - you would be bored by the middle of Day if I tried. Second - the last 7 days is a blur of thoughts and emotions and it is difficult for me to think of it as separate days as it felt like one extremely long day. (I’d call it The Longest Day but then I’d owe some people that made a great movie in 1962 some money) So, we will sum it all up in one word - difficult.
Lets start with some good news. I did my first official weigh in this morning (ok this afternoon when I got up) and it looks like I’m down about 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Though, after weighing in I realize I need to get a digital scale because I really have no clue how much I lost…just that the scale didn’t go as far as last time. It is my best estimate on the 6 pounds, but I will say that I did weight myself 3 times and I took the average of the results. Even on something like this, I must be highly scientific and precise!
Days 8-14 involved the majority of my life being spent with family or in a hospital. My mother was there, and my family and myself experienced just about every emotion a human can. At some point each of us, separately from each other, thought we had said our final goodbyes. (Thankfully, while there is a long road ahead for recovery, she is on the process of recovering) During this time, I had the good fortune to meet a lot of great nurses and nurses assistants and admired their spirit and positive vibes. (and a few not so great doctors that I hope to meet in a dark alley sometime soon) I found out so many things I didn’t know about health and our bodies. It occurred to me that even though I may think I know what I need to do to keep/make myself healthy - I am ignorant. I simply don’t know what I don’t know. My next step goal is to schedule myself a checkup with a doctor. This is something long overdue for me - but I will face it knowing that there will probably be things I don’t want to hear from the doctor, but if it helps me in the long run, it is something that I must do. I’m not sure what else to say about this here because I don’t think my brain has fully processed the last week. If anything, it drives home the message that our health is the most important thing we can manage and control…and that doing so doesn’t come without hard work and persistence. (on a side note - minus the doctors I would like to give a giant 5 Stars to York Hospital staff) And that’s all I have to say about that…
While I didn’t get the opportunity to workout during this time, I did my best to remain as active as possible. I parked the car further away from places so I could walk more…I did something each night with friends to keep from sitting and starting…etc. This next week starts up the workout routine again - I can actually say I missed it. I was able to keep up with eating well and can also announce that I’m 2 weeks soda free! There were times that I was tempted to break the healthy eating but thankfully the brain was able to overcome the want to eat poorly. I’m very glad that before this last week happened, I decided it was time for me to work on my health as I don’t know what I would have done without the focus of my brain on this. I think I’ve said before - my mental health is as important in this whole process as my physical health.
Lets hope that this is the last of the downer entries. What is best about the times life challenges us physically and mentally is that it teaches us two very important things. 1 - You are stronger than you think you are. 2 - You aren’t ever alone when you have good friends and family there to support you. We as humans can move past struggling times and emerge stronger and better for it. While I will never be thankful for the last 8+ days, I hope to be able to look back in 6 months and see how it molded me as a person.
Interestingly I’m watching Science Channel this evening and someone is trying to explain the universe comparing it to a bagel…and now I want cream cheese…
Damnit………..
LANDIS
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Day 5/6/7
This weekend was stressful in many ways. The details of the events are not important to this message - only the ways we deal with stressful events. Where do we begin? Friday seems like ages ago…how time flies when you aren’t having any fun.
Friday/Day 5
Finally! I pushed myself to get up extra early and use the elliptical! I had a feeling of satisfaction throughout the day! An early morning workout is a sure way to set up for a good day - I made better decisions on what to eat/do from the morning workout. Friday was also the first time that I went out to dinner since making a decision to be healthy…and what better challenge then to go to a bar/restaurant that specializes in fried goodness. I was able to hold back and have a salad….score. Then, to a baseball game…and no snacks. (all of course meant I saved room for a few beers - some to celebrate a good time with an old friend and some to signal the anticipation of the rest of the weekend)
Saturday/Day 6
This day was planned to be a very busy day, but one where I was going to call some friends in town and meet them to at least be active outdoors. Sadly, this was not meant to be. I did take every opportunity I had to walk when I could and do something other then sit and wait. The events did make it a very light food day with only a breakfast bar until thankfully my sister (and family) fed me dinner. I was hungry still but didn’t eat too much and drank only water. Baby steps - every little thing counts. I was also up very late getting a lot of things done that were needed and was able to force off the late night munchies. Mind over matter?
Sunday/Day 7
By far the hardest day of this whole adventure. Exhausted isn’t even the word to describe where I was. There was nothing more I wanted to do then grab a soda or more caffeine but I held strong. Tired is typically another weakness…because I feed myself all day to keep some energy going. I did try some “Wheaties Energy Bites” and let me tell you - the last word describes best my feeling on them. By the time dinner rolled around (again thankfully fed by my sister) I had eaten a banana all day. I probably had a little more macaroni and cheese then I should have but I still did my best. Yes…I did have a piece of birthday cake to - had to celebrate for my niece! (turns 4 tomorrow) My last weakness exposed for the day is in driving medium/long distances. I have always bought some kind of caffeine and snack before a drive like that…mostly because I’m bored and it was something to do. I had to stop for gas this evening and decided it was best to not even go in the store….I only had an hour to drive I decided. As I said, this day had disaster written on it and other then a little extra macaroni and a few Iron City beers (yes, Iron City) I feel that it was still successful.
This weekend was really a slap in the face reminder of why last Sunday I wrote my Day 0 entry and started down this road. At some point, it is too late to stop and turn things around to make them better and slowly you go down a road with no return. What is hardest about that path is that you don’t even realize what you really can’t do until the first time you fail at it. That failure can stick and your mind and paralyze you with fear and uncertainty. This is the point that somebody realizes that the return path may never go full circle because of the abuse you have put your body through getting where you are. What if all it took was 50 extra steps each day over the course of 60+ years to be healthy - is that too much to do? It occurs to me that working out is great and keeping on that path is something I will keep doing. More of this journey lies in the few tiny activities we all too often skip because we are tired, or our knee/foot,/arm hurts too much, or because it might be too hard to do and forcing ourselves to do them and keep doing them day after day. Doing that exact thing daily will be when I know I’ve arrived at the final goal…at which I won’t need a reward because I will have made the change my path and change my mindset.
LANDIS
(editors/writers note - if this is more ramble then normal I am on about 7 hours of sleep since Friday morning and have had one of the most stressful weekends of my life. Thank you for understanding and reading)
Friday/Day 5
Finally! I pushed myself to get up extra early and use the elliptical! I had a feeling of satisfaction throughout the day! An early morning workout is a sure way to set up for a good day - I made better decisions on what to eat/do from the morning workout. Friday was also the first time that I went out to dinner since making a decision to be healthy…and what better challenge then to go to a bar/restaurant that specializes in fried goodness. I was able to hold back and have a salad….score. Then, to a baseball game…and no snacks. (all of course meant I saved room for a few beers - some to celebrate a good time with an old friend and some to signal the anticipation of the rest of the weekend)
Saturday/Day 6
This day was planned to be a very busy day, but one where I was going to call some friends in town and meet them to at least be active outdoors. Sadly, this was not meant to be. I did take every opportunity I had to walk when I could and do something other then sit and wait. The events did make it a very light food day with only a breakfast bar until thankfully my sister (and family) fed me dinner. I was hungry still but didn’t eat too much and drank only water. Baby steps - every little thing counts. I was also up very late getting a lot of things done that were needed and was able to force off the late night munchies. Mind over matter?
Sunday/Day 7
By far the hardest day of this whole adventure. Exhausted isn’t even the word to describe where I was. There was nothing more I wanted to do then grab a soda or more caffeine but I held strong. Tired is typically another weakness…because I feed myself all day to keep some energy going. I did try some “Wheaties Energy Bites” and let me tell you - the last word describes best my feeling on them. By the time dinner rolled around (again thankfully fed by my sister) I had eaten a banana all day. I probably had a little more macaroni and cheese then I should have but I still did my best. Yes…I did have a piece of birthday cake to - had to celebrate for my niece! (turns 4 tomorrow) My last weakness exposed for the day is in driving medium/long distances. I have always bought some kind of caffeine and snack before a drive like that…mostly because I’m bored and it was something to do. I had to stop for gas this evening and decided it was best to not even go in the store….I only had an hour to drive I decided. As I said, this day had disaster written on it and other then a little extra macaroni and a few Iron City beers (yes, Iron City) I feel that it was still successful.
This weekend was really a slap in the face reminder of why last Sunday I wrote my Day 0 entry and started down this road. At some point, it is too late to stop and turn things around to make them better and slowly you go down a road with no return. What is hardest about that path is that you don’t even realize what you really can’t do until the first time you fail at it. That failure can stick and your mind and paralyze you with fear and uncertainty. This is the point that somebody realizes that the return path may never go full circle because of the abuse you have put your body through getting where you are. What if all it took was 50 extra steps each day over the course of 60+ years to be healthy - is that too much to do? It occurs to me that working out is great and keeping on that path is something I will keep doing. More of this journey lies in the few tiny activities we all too often skip because we are tired, or our knee/foot,/arm hurts too much, or because it might be too hard to do and forcing ourselves to do them and keep doing them day after day. Doing that exact thing daily will be when I know I’ve arrived at the final goal…at which I won’t need a reward because I will have made the change my path and change my mindset.
LANDIS
(editors/writers note - if this is more ramble then normal I am on about 7 hours of sleep since Friday morning and have had one of the most stressful weekends of my life. Thank you for understanding and reading)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Day 4
“Today I didn’t even have to use my A.K. I got to say it was a good day.”
Thank you Ice Cube - without you I…well…I would be less happy today. Today seemed more “routine” then the last few days which is good for me. I’m a creature of habit(s) for sure and when something becomes routine then hopefully it sticks with me. After a long day of work, I had a list of things I had to accomplish before bedtime - one of course was to head to the basement. It definitely didn’t go as easily as I want but its early. Once I had gotten it in my head I was going to do it I had the best workout yet. More time on the elliptical and more time on the weights. New secret learned - it takes exactly 1 hour for my washer to do a load of laundry. So….I should take that as a time to workout. (If you didn’t know already I’m the ultimate multi-tasker - ESPECIALLY with having a conversation in person and several in text messages at the same time)
Started actually thinking of goals today but I’m not really sure where to go with them. I definitely have an intermediate weight loss goal but I don’t want my ultimate goal to be a number. I’m very goal oriented and will do whatever it takes to achieve one…problem is I don’t want to stop at a number because I don’t want to stop. The best way I’ve heard it said was in an email today from a great friend - this isn’t a diet or an exercise program it’s a total change of lifestyle. So, my long term goal needs to be a little different on this…but I’m really not sure what. I also want to think of reward for the goal - something big and something I want. Its probably not overly surprising that I have a better thought for the reward then I do for the goal. (maybe its because I want so many things?)
I am going to push myself tomorrow morning - I WILL wake up early to do at least an elliptical run before I head off to work for the day. I’m a little worried about the upcoming weekend so its important that I do this tomorrow. I will be in York for a few days this weekend and obviously won’t have access to the gym I have in the basement. There is also worry in my brain that any “routines” established will go away with the change of scenery. So - if anybody out there lives in York and wants to go for a walk or something like that over the weekend - get in touch with me please. I will be busy with many things, but I can GUARANTEE I will want/need to get away, if only for sanity.
I suppose I should finish my list of stuff to do tonight. Never thought I would procrastinate by writing my inner thoughts on a computer while listening to Rage Against The Machine. Nope…sure didn’t see that one coming!
Landis
Thank you Ice Cube - without you I…well…I would be less happy today. Today seemed more “routine” then the last few days which is good for me. I’m a creature of habit(s) for sure and when something becomes routine then hopefully it sticks with me. After a long day of work, I had a list of things I had to accomplish before bedtime - one of course was to head to the basement. It definitely didn’t go as easily as I want but its early. Once I had gotten it in my head I was going to do it I had the best workout yet. More time on the elliptical and more time on the weights. New secret learned - it takes exactly 1 hour for my washer to do a load of laundry. So….I should take that as a time to workout. (If you didn’t know already I’m the ultimate multi-tasker - ESPECIALLY with having a conversation in person and several in text messages at the same time)
Started actually thinking of goals today but I’m not really sure where to go with them. I definitely have an intermediate weight loss goal but I don’t want my ultimate goal to be a number. I’m very goal oriented and will do whatever it takes to achieve one…problem is I don’t want to stop at a number because I don’t want to stop. The best way I’ve heard it said was in an email today from a great friend - this isn’t a diet or an exercise program it’s a total change of lifestyle. So, my long term goal needs to be a little different on this…but I’m really not sure what. I also want to think of reward for the goal - something big and something I want. Its probably not overly surprising that I have a better thought for the reward then I do for the goal. (maybe its because I want so many things?)
I am going to push myself tomorrow morning - I WILL wake up early to do at least an elliptical run before I head off to work for the day. I’m a little worried about the upcoming weekend so its important that I do this tomorrow. I will be in York for a few days this weekend and obviously won’t have access to the gym I have in the basement. There is also worry in my brain that any “routines” established will go away with the change of scenery. So - if anybody out there lives in York and wants to go for a walk or something like that over the weekend - get in touch with me please. I will be busy with many things, but I can GUARANTEE I will want/need to get away, if only for sanity.
I suppose I should finish my list of stuff to do tonight. Never thought I would procrastinate by writing my inner thoughts on a computer while listening to Rage Against The Machine. Nope…sure didn’t see that one coming!
Landis
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Day 3
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to start being healthy”
All pun intended here. Wow. Today was another day with what could go wrong did go wrong - soon to be renamed “Landis Law”. (it has a better ring to it anyway) I’ve decided (after today - shift on the fly so to speak) that this whole getting healthy thing has to include a mental health day. Coincidentally, this evening started out as my first such mental health evening. When under stress or after bad days, the thing that calms me down more than almost anything is a nice ride on the motorcycle. In my mind I knew that keeping my brain involved in this is probably even more important than physical activity. Truthfully if I lose my brain, I’m going to lose the body. (even more then its lost now) So, I rushed home from work and set out for a mind clearing trip out in any direction I wanted. There is something very therapeutic about a bike ride. For me, its one of the few times I can disconnect from the world and be left with just my brain and the open road. Obviously, the open road wins over whatever is rattling around in the brain.
Thankfully, the ride worked the magic it was intended to. Once I pulled in the garage and reconnected with the real world I was in a better mind set. (ok, I admit I did stop to get gas on the ride and checked my phones for text messages - Rome wasn’t built in a day here…) Back to the story though - I was able to eat a sensible “Healthy Choice” meal (no they haven’t paid me for a plug but I wouldn’t say no to some cash). After eating I decided that I could go downstairs and at least run through the weights for a while so at least there was some amount of physical activity. Tomorrow I will need to do a full workout but I feel good that I didn’t completely skip. I don’t know/care if anybody is actually reading my rants on here but the knowledge that somebody might be has certainly helped me to strive to stay as active as possible. Its possible that in time I won’t need that as motivation but thankfully I have friends who at least pretend to read my ramblings. ;-)
I’m not going to dwell on details of the bad week here but I can say that stress has been a weakness for me in my life but the events of this week have helped the wake up call that was needed. It seems to be as good of timing as any for this to start. I have to say I’m resisting the urge to even touch a scale until next week…I don’t need or want anything to throw me off track.
In closing - I’m watching History Channel’s 101 Gadgets That Changed The World right now coming in 9th place is the alarm clock. What sick and twisted motherf*cker voted for the alarm clock? That would be 1st on my list of inventions I would like to go back in time and shoot the inventor. (once I design my time machine)
Landis
All pun intended here. Wow. Today was another day with what could go wrong did go wrong - soon to be renamed “Landis Law”. (it has a better ring to it anyway) I’ve decided (after today - shift on the fly so to speak) that this whole getting healthy thing has to include a mental health day. Coincidentally, this evening started out as my first such mental health evening. When under stress or after bad days, the thing that calms me down more than almost anything is a nice ride on the motorcycle. In my mind I knew that keeping my brain involved in this is probably even more important than physical activity. Truthfully if I lose my brain, I’m going to lose the body. (even more then its lost now) So, I rushed home from work and set out for a mind clearing trip out in any direction I wanted. There is something very therapeutic about a bike ride. For me, its one of the few times I can disconnect from the world and be left with just my brain and the open road. Obviously, the open road wins over whatever is rattling around in the brain.
Thankfully, the ride worked the magic it was intended to. Once I pulled in the garage and reconnected with the real world I was in a better mind set. (ok, I admit I did stop to get gas on the ride and checked my phones for text messages - Rome wasn’t built in a day here…) Back to the story though - I was able to eat a sensible “Healthy Choice” meal (no they haven’t paid me for a plug but I wouldn’t say no to some cash). After eating I decided that I could go downstairs and at least run through the weights for a while so at least there was some amount of physical activity. Tomorrow I will need to do a full workout but I feel good that I didn’t completely skip. I don’t know/care if anybody is actually reading my rants on here but the knowledge that somebody might be has certainly helped me to strive to stay as active as possible. Its possible that in time I won’t need that as motivation but thankfully I have friends who at least pretend to read my ramblings. ;-)
I’m not going to dwell on details of the bad week here but I can say that stress has been a weakness for me in my life but the events of this week have helped the wake up call that was needed. It seems to be as good of timing as any for this to start. I have to say I’m resisting the urge to even touch a scale until next week…I don’t need or want anything to throw me off track.
In closing - I’m watching History Channel’s 101 Gadgets That Changed The World right now coming in 9th place is the alarm clock. What sick and twisted motherf*cker voted for the alarm clock? That would be 1st on my list of inventions I would like to go back in time and shoot the inventor. (once I design my time machine)
Landis
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Day 2
Today is also known as whatever could go wrong did go wrong. It wasn’t the worst day ever but it was also FAR from the best day. On a normal day through my life I would have punished my body with eating the absolute worst crap possible. My brain would have wanted some wonderful crap from Taco Bell and I would have feasted for $5 on my way home. Then, because of the feast I would figure - what the hell and find something somewhere for dessert since I’d already ruined my food intake for the day. (subsequently I would also need to pick up a 6 pack of Charmin too) Anywho…I certainly was given the opportunity when meeting some friends after work for a quick happy hour at a good Italian Restaurant. Even to my own surprise, I held strong (though I did have a few beers - I can’t be a saint here or anything) and had a healthier (and smaller) meal when I got home. What I’m not sure I understand is why it is so difficult to “force” myself to do something like that. I see others who can do that without even thinking yet for me, it’s a small miracle to hold off and eat healthy. I hope that through time I can also be the same way - that the thought of patting myself on the back for eating smart is a ridiculous idea. Perhaps this is the first idea at a long term goal? On my drive home I had a bit of guilt fall over me that I might not do something active today and decided that it would be a perfect night to take Bandit for a little walk. Was it running or weights? No…but at least it was something with activity that forced me to do something more after work then come home and screw around the house. (of course I now have a dog passed out on the exact seat I would like to plop my fat ass in but I can deal)
I’m still struggling with getting up early enough to get a good workout in before work. Most of this is from tossing and turning and finally getting into a deep sleep state around 5am…I’m guessing I need to break out of that soon. I’m thinking that it may involve truly forcing myself up one day and struggling through the day at work to completely change my schedule. I’ve tried just about everything I can think of to fall asleep and I’m still tossing and turning and unable to shut my brain off. I remember that in my past being and staying active has helped my sleep - I can only hope that this could be a wonderful side effect.
My last thought for this evening is simple - I own The Matrix on DVD and BluRay - I’ve watched it a million times too. Why, Why, Why am I watching it on TV and dealing with the edited words and watching commercials? Does that make me crazy?
Word
Landis
I’m still struggling with getting up early enough to get a good workout in before work. Most of this is from tossing and turning and finally getting into a deep sleep state around 5am…I’m guessing I need to break out of that soon. I’m thinking that it may involve truly forcing myself up one day and struggling through the day at work to completely change my schedule. I’ve tried just about everything I can think of to fall asleep and I’m still tossing and turning and unable to shut my brain off. I remember that in my past being and staying active has helped my sleep - I can only hope that this could be a wonderful side effect.
My last thought for this evening is simple - I own The Matrix on DVD and BluRay - I’ve watched it a million times too. Why, Why, Why am I watching it on TV and dealing with the edited words and watching commercials? Does that make me crazy?
Word
Landis
Monday, June 13, 2011
Day 1
Day 1
Wow - what a bad day to be Day 1?! Spent today at the US Open in Bethesda hosting people for my company. There was food and drink set in front of me all morning/afternoon/evening - quite honestly every 2 hours a new serving of fresh food was set out. I certainly could have made every excuse to feed myself all day but I didn’t. (ok maybe I had 2 servings of meatballs but they were freaking amazing) I was able to control and forced myself to drink only water all day. Score 1 for the big guy?
Thankfully, this also gave me an opportunity to enjoy the beautiful day and walk around the country club. So, I spend the majority of the afternoon strolling around the golf course, to the merchandise tent, to the practice greens, to the practice tees and back again. After getting home I decided that the meatballs meant I needed to do something else active so I took to the basement to lift weights again. All in all - can’t complain.
No more thoughts for tonight…too tired to think.
Landis
Wow - what a bad day to be Day 1?! Spent today at the US Open in Bethesda hosting people for my company. There was food and drink set in front of me all morning/afternoon/evening - quite honestly every 2 hours a new serving of fresh food was set out. I certainly could have made every excuse to feed myself all day but I didn’t. (ok maybe I had 2 servings of meatballs but they were freaking amazing) I was able to control and forced myself to drink only water all day. Score 1 for the big guy?
Thankfully, this also gave me an opportunity to enjoy the beautiful day and walk around the country club. So, I spend the majority of the afternoon strolling around the golf course, to the merchandise tent, to the practice greens, to the practice tees and back again. After getting home I decided that the meatballs meant I needed to do something else active so I took to the basement to lift weights again. All in all - can’t complain.
No more thoughts for tonight…too tired to think.
Landis
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Day 0
DISCLAIMER - reading this is a contract. This contract states that you are not able to ridicule the writer for any comments made here. This is an experiment/project - if you don’t want to participate, I completely understand. Just know that writing most of this down hasn’t been an easy start. Please - read on - or not that is your decision. Thanks.
Not sure what will come of this - maybe it can motivate me, maybe it can motivate others, maybe it will be a big waste of time. Either way it turns out, I won’t feel like it has wasted any of my time. The last few months/years have been growing years for me - in many ways…growing as a person as well as (re) growing in size. The size part has been a constant in my life - while I still am essentially within 1 pant size of what I wore when I graduated high school, my weight has fluctuated up/down 50 pounds or more. It seems that I can get things going but then slowly it starts to fall away and then more rapidly. I’ve wondered many times why I can’t keep it straight. I can keep my mind to just about anything else in life - but not this one thing. I think now that the reason I can’t keep up with a health routine is simply that I have always done it for the wrong reason. The first time I went on a health kick, it was to impress someone. (on a side note, it did work but sadly that was not meant to be) Once I accomplished the goal though, things started to slide backwards and when it was realized that it wasn’t meant to be then the slide increased. The second health kick was started out of sheer determination to prove somebody wrong. I was told during the end of a relationship that part of it was my health and that was part of things, especially after spending time with my parents. While that hurt to hear, since then I have come to appreciate that conversation. While that should have been my wake up call to permanent change, it wasn’t. I was just bound and determined to show that person that I could be healthier - and I was. Again, once that was proven, the determination left and the focus left. I’ve made every excuse in the book….but all just excuses. I’ve been spending more time with my parents and really the wake up call I should have had years ago has started to click in my head. I’ve never let weight come in between me and accomplishing anything and I don’t plan to change that. It is a slippery slope though - and once you start to slip, a fall could happen anytime. Reality hits when you see others you love not be able to do simple things in life because they didn’t realize they were on the slope and just fell down. Its time for me to stop the cycle and take action. I refuse to be someone that relies on others to do life’s simple tasks…I can’t be…I won’t be.
So what is my point here?
As G.I.Joe taught me - knowing is half the battle. Yes, I know its time to make a change - but I’m lacking the proper motivation to start. At the same time, I know that if I start within 3 weeks I won’t need motivation because I will be into it. Start of this process is this “note” I’m writing here…putting it down on “paper” is getting it all out. If I actually post this somewhere then that is the next step because then others will see it and (possibly) read it too. I’ve already taken strides to change my diet to a healthier diet, reduce beer/alcohol intake and have started to see results just from this. The next step is to get into a workout routine - and that is where I’ve struggled and continue to struggle.
Ok….you’ve read this far - really what is the point?
Lets call this “The Great Landis Improvement Project” and I’m asking for your help. Today is Sunday, June 12 and I’m calling this “Day Zero” - hopefully by “Day 21” I won’t need help any longer. I don’t know if I can keep up with posting something daily…but I know I’m going to write something daily. I’m not starting today with a goal of losing X amount of pounds. I’m not starting today with a goal of making X like me. I’m not starting today to prove somebody wrong. I’m starting today to be healthier, to lose weight,, to be inspired by others that have done the same things and hopefully to inspire others too. Simply put, I want to be comfortable in my own skin again.
So, my friends…if you are willing to help then share motivation. If you know of something that works, please let me know. If you just want to be the person that wakes my ass up in the morning and forces me to work out - I’m all for it. If you see that I haven’t posted a workout on Facebook for the day - ask me why. You don’t have to do this everyday, or at all for that matter…but if you would you too can be a part of this great project/experiment. Part of my growing process is knowing when you can’t do something alone…and asking for help. Again, I don’t know where this will go in the end - but I’m determined to see it through to find out.
Love and other such pleasantries,
Landis
(Reminder of the first paragraph disclaimer - if you read this you have committed to not make fun of me for whatever I’ve written)
Not sure what will come of this - maybe it can motivate me, maybe it can motivate others, maybe it will be a big waste of time. Either way it turns out, I won’t feel like it has wasted any of my time. The last few months/years have been growing years for me - in many ways…growing as a person as well as (re) growing in size. The size part has been a constant in my life - while I still am essentially within 1 pant size of what I wore when I graduated high school, my weight has fluctuated up/down 50 pounds or more. It seems that I can get things going but then slowly it starts to fall away and then more rapidly. I’ve wondered many times why I can’t keep it straight. I can keep my mind to just about anything else in life - but not this one thing. I think now that the reason I can’t keep up with a health routine is simply that I have always done it for the wrong reason. The first time I went on a health kick, it was to impress someone. (on a side note, it did work but sadly that was not meant to be) Once I accomplished the goal though, things started to slide backwards and when it was realized that it wasn’t meant to be then the slide increased. The second health kick was started out of sheer determination to prove somebody wrong. I was told during the end of a relationship that part of it was my health and that was part of things, especially after spending time with my parents. While that hurt to hear, since then I have come to appreciate that conversation. While that should have been my wake up call to permanent change, it wasn’t. I was just bound and determined to show that person that I could be healthier - and I was. Again, once that was proven, the determination left and the focus left. I’ve made every excuse in the book….but all just excuses. I’ve been spending more time with my parents and really the wake up call I should have had years ago has started to click in my head. I’ve never let weight come in between me and accomplishing anything and I don’t plan to change that. It is a slippery slope though - and once you start to slip, a fall could happen anytime. Reality hits when you see others you love not be able to do simple things in life because they didn’t realize they were on the slope and just fell down. Its time for me to stop the cycle and take action. I refuse to be someone that relies on others to do life’s simple tasks…I can’t be…I won’t be.
So what is my point here?
As G.I.Joe taught me - knowing is half the battle. Yes, I know its time to make a change - but I’m lacking the proper motivation to start. At the same time, I know that if I start within 3 weeks I won’t need motivation because I will be into it. Start of this process is this “note” I’m writing here…putting it down on “paper” is getting it all out. If I actually post this somewhere then that is the next step because then others will see it and (possibly) read it too. I’ve already taken strides to change my diet to a healthier diet, reduce beer/alcohol intake and have started to see results just from this. The next step is to get into a workout routine - and that is where I’ve struggled and continue to struggle.
Ok….you’ve read this far - really what is the point?
Lets call this “The Great Landis Improvement Project” and I’m asking for your help. Today is Sunday, June 12 and I’m calling this “Day Zero” - hopefully by “Day 21” I won’t need help any longer. I don’t know if I can keep up with posting something daily…but I know I’m going to write something daily. I’m not starting today with a goal of losing X amount of pounds. I’m not starting today with a goal of making X like me. I’m not starting today to prove somebody wrong. I’m starting today to be healthier, to lose weight,, to be inspired by others that have done the same things and hopefully to inspire others too. Simply put, I want to be comfortable in my own skin again.
So, my friends…if you are willing to help then share motivation. If you know of something that works, please let me know. If you just want to be the person that wakes my ass up in the morning and forces me to work out - I’m all for it. If you see that I haven’t posted a workout on Facebook for the day - ask me why. You don’t have to do this everyday, or at all for that matter…but if you would you too can be a part of this great project/experiment. Part of my growing process is knowing when you can’t do something alone…and asking for help. Again, I don’t know where this will go in the end - but I’m determined to see it through to find out.
Love and other such pleasantries,
Landis
(Reminder of the first paragraph disclaimer - if you read this you have committed to not make fun of me for whatever I’ve written)
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