Today is also known as whatever could go wrong did go wrong. It wasn’t the worst day ever but it was also FAR from the best day. On a normal day through my life I would have punished my body with eating the absolute worst crap possible. My brain would have wanted some wonderful crap from Taco Bell and I would have feasted for $5 on my way home. Then, because of the feast I would figure - what the hell and find something somewhere for dessert since I’d already ruined my food intake for the day. (subsequently I would also need to pick up a 6 pack of Charmin too) Anywho…I certainly was given the opportunity when meeting some friends after work for a quick happy hour at a good Italian Restaurant. Even to my own surprise, I held strong (though I did have a few beers - I can’t be a saint here or anything) and had a healthier (and smaller) meal when I got home. What I’m not sure I understand is why it is so difficult to “force” myself to do something like that. I see others who can do that without even thinking yet for me, it’s a small miracle to hold off and eat healthy. I hope that through time I can also be the same way - that the thought of patting myself on the back for eating smart is a ridiculous idea. Perhaps this is the first idea at a long term goal? On my drive home I had a bit of guilt fall over me that I might not do something active today and decided that it would be a perfect night to take Bandit for a little walk. Was it running or weights? No…but at least it was something with activity that forced me to do something more after work then come home and screw around the house. (of course I now have a dog passed out on the exact seat I would like to plop my fat ass in but I can deal)
I’m still struggling with getting up early enough to get a good workout in before work. Most of this is from tossing and turning and finally getting into a deep sleep state around 5am…I’m guessing I need to break out of that soon. I’m thinking that it may involve truly forcing myself up one day and struggling through the day at work to completely change my schedule. I’ve tried just about everything I can think of to fall asleep and I’m still tossing and turning and unable to shut my brain off. I remember that in my past being and staying active has helped my sleep - I can only hope that this could be a wonderful side effect.
My last thought for this evening is simple - I own The Matrix on DVD and BluRay - I’ve watched it a million times too. Why, Why, Why am I watching it on TV and dealing with the edited words and watching commercials? Does that make me crazy?
Word
Landis
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