Day 323 - 367

“There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how”

One year ago on this date, I sat in front of this same computer and started to type something that I called “Day 0” which I was unsure if it would ever be posted or finished.  366 days later (it was an extra long year this year and such) I am now staring at a screen trying to think of the proper words to say.  (ok - truth be told I started to write this two days ago and got nowhere - that’s what I get for not procrastinating for once!?!?)

This may be my first ever short entry.  (right)

Lets do this in a report card kind of way - shall we?

(Yes, we shall)

A year ago I wrote this:

“Lets call this “The Great Landis Improvement Project” and I’m asking for your help.  Today is Sunday, June 12 and I’m calling this “Day Zero” - hopefully by “Day 21” I won’t need help any longer.  I don’t know if I can keep up with posting something daily…but I know I’m going to write something daily.  I’m not starting today with a goal of losing X amount of pounds.  I’m not starting today with a goal of making X like me.  I’m not starting today to prove somebody wrong.  I’m starting today to be healthier, to lose weight,, to be inspired by others that have done the same things and hopefully to inspire others too.  Simply put, I want to be comfortable in my own skin again.”

So - how have we done with this and what have we learned?  (besides last year’s scale conspiracy and poop “unpleasantries”)
1 -Well, I had thought by Day 21 I wouldn’t need help any longer - Grade - C  If there is anything I have learned in this year is that as this process went on I have needed more and more help.  You can’t do this on your own - you need the support of others and someone to kick your ass when you aren’t in it.  I give myself a C on this because I’ve had to learn this throughout the year.  When I have tried it on my own I’ve had some success but when the going got tough and I didn’t seek help - I failed.

2 - I’m going to write daily - Grade - F-  - What in the hell was I smoking, sniffing, drinking or injecting when I wrote this?  Clearly I haven’t written something daily nor have I posted.  There just simply isn’t enough in my life that is interesting to talk about daily.  Simple fact there.  I failed at this one.  Yup - capital F.

3 - I’m starting today to be healthier - Grade - A - that was my goal and I sit here in the exact same spot 1 year later and can’t even begin to tell you in how many ways I’m healthier.  (that is mostly because I hadn’t been to a doctor when I was major fatass Landis so there’s no documented proof of how bad it was)  Seriously though - just waking up daily and working through a day in the life of Landis is easier and happier.  Not only has my physical health improved but so has my emotional health.  (course, it really wasn’t too hard to improve the emotional health - I just had to show one from time to time)

4 - I want to be comfortable in my own skin again - Grade - B - so that was a good goal to have really.  This is a spot where I need constant improvement.  So I am more comfortable in my own skin but certainly not yet where I think I should be.  As I’ve said before - I still see the old me in the mirror.  Maybe now I see the me from last September in the mirror and not the me from last June - so that’s an improvement, right?  But at least I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror?

5 - Numbers - Grade - A - This may shock some people here.  I’m going to take some credit here for the difference in a year.  I started this not knowing where I would get to.  Honestly not having a goal because I didn’t want it to end, but realizing that I had failed so many times before and expecting that could happen again.  Am I proud of where I am?  I guess so?  But I cannot nor will I take credit for what has happened.  There are so many others that have been there the entire time or at specific times in the progression and without them/you - I wouldn’t be where I am today.  Period.  The End.

So - overall I’m going to give the last 366 days this final assessment - #WINNING

As I said above - there are so many people that I would like to thank but don’t know how to say it.  Specifically though, there are 3 people that really got this ball rolling for me and without them in the first few weeks/months I can say for sure I couldn’t have gotten here.  Here they are and why they are so important in no particular order:

1. Mike Wink - Last summer, after one of my blog postings, I got a message from Mike on Facebook that said the following:
Hey my brother in law is a certified trainer and is doing boot camps three days a week at mayeski park at south Carroll for five bucks. First one is tomorrow at seven if you are interested. He has done me and my wife last week and is a good workout 
Little did I know at that point how significant this posting would be to my life.  Until then I had lost weight purely by eating differently and doing some basic exercises.  That was it.  Mike introduced me to a world of pain (at first) and then triumph as I learned I could do some of the things I’ve never been able to do in my life.  I don’t know if you read this still Mike - but thanks my friend.

2.  Zach Baker - If you just read what I said about Mike before this (and I don’t know why you wouldn’t have unless your are reading from the end which would be weird)  Zach was said brother in law from Mike’s Facebook posting.  He was the first person to introduce me to what working out really meant.  All my life working out meant an elliptical or maybe some weights on a machine or at most swimming.  Zach’s workouts taught me things I could do at home, or just things I could do period.  He worked with me at first when I could barely walk on the field much less run and encouraged me to try harder.  He believed in my enough that I had to start believing in myself.  Because of him I trained for my first 5k and really everything else that I have done when it comes to working out is because of his patience with a serious fatass.  He has started up his workouts again - and I cannot wait to go very soon to show him that what he started hasn’t finished yet.

3.  Natacha Blondiaux - lets just call her Tasha because nobody actually knows how to pronounce her last name.  ;)  Now - I’ve told her this before - but now I’m going to embarrass her a little bit publicly.  When I first decided it was time to get healthy - she was one of the first people I reached out to because of her drive and motivation to get healthier on her own.  So, we went back and forth and she suggested a few things like group workouts and boot camps etc.  (which I found ironically like 2 days later through Mike/Zach)  Then, as time went on she’d check in with me on how things were going.  She might have mentioned the word Soldierfit once or twice too…just sayin.  Well, finally when February rolled around and I started to ask her about Soldierfit, she met me one Saturday (which I wrote about somewhere in the past) and went through my first ever class with me.  The rest as we say is history when it comes to Soldierfit and my love/addiction of it.  I don’t even need to get into it.  Now - she won’t take any credit for this - thus why I am publicly calling her out - you were/are there at the times I needed the most help - and I can’t thank you enough.

Well - report card is done.  Academy Awards style speech is done thanking the right people.  What is left to say?  Ok - one more thing and then a review of numbers from the first year of this project.

The next step is here - perhaps one of the final steps too.  On Sunday I started a new phase in this.  From Day 0 to Sunday I had done everything in regards to food on a eat what I want just less philosophy.  Well, now I have started a 90 day diet which I plan to be what finishes off my weight loss and begins to transform what is left into all lean muscle.  Here goes - for 90 days I’m eating the same thing - every day.  Egg whites and oats for breakfast and Chicken, brown rice and broccoli for lunch/dinner.  Protein shakes in between.  No cheating.  Nothing else.  Let me tell you this is THE most boring and tasteless food I have ever eaten.  But, having seen the results of others I know that this will work for me.  My plan is to lose 20-25 pounds and get my body fat % under 20 in the next 90 days.  Long term I will be at my goal weight (and beyond) then and all that will be left is transforming more fat into muscle and getting down to an even healthier body fat percentage.  I have no reward for when this happens - my only reward will having the satisfaction of completing this project and becoming a “normal” guy finally.  (ok - normal a relative term referring to health and size - not referring at all to mental capabilities or maturity)  I know I’ll need some rooting on over the next 90 days (well now 87 but who’s counting??) and I hope that I can count on my friends for that.

Ok - now the fun part with numbers and I can say peace out or whatever….

367 days without soda/tea (really anything but water, coffee and beer - gotta have the beer)
3 days (again) without any caffeine - cutting that out again!
105 pounds lost since my heaviest weight (312)
95 pounds lost in the last 367 days
77 pounds lost since starting my heavy workout phase (324 days)
7 pounds until my ultimate goal (199.9) and I already have my reward
My current weight is now 207 pounds
Body Fat % is currently 24% (down significantly)
BMI is 27.8  (this is now just in the “overweight” category and not obese - win!)
12 inches lost on waist - I can say I am now a 36 inch waist (and they are a little bit loose even)

So apparently I lied again about a short entry.  DUH!

I really don’t know how to close this one out.  Year 1 is down but neither myself or this blog are done.  We will both continue on until all goals have been met.  After that happens, the final goal is maintenance - and I plan to write throughout that process too.  I really can’t express my gratitude for everyone involved in my life that has given me a push over the last year - whether you knew it or not.  By simply reading this, or commenting or liking something on Facebook, you have shown support to me that has gone further than you can possibly imaging.  For that gift of your time, words cannot express my thanks.  There are so many people I have met who are also going through their own life changes with health - and I hope that I can be of the same help to you.  I promise to not give up on myself - please promise to not give up on yourself.

Until then - in the immortal words of Casey Kasem:

“Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.”

Much love,

LANDIS

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN (and brown rice and broccoli) DINNER

Day 242 - 275

I’m Chris Landis - and I am an addict

Yup - you heard it here.  I am publicly admitting that I am powerless over my addiction - but my life has not - and it will not become unmanageable.  To think, I owe it all to a friend I met just over a year ago…

Picture It…Gaithersburg…2012

This is where the downfall to addiction started.  It was a chilly winter Saturday and I was getting ready to try something new in the “make Landis less of a fatass” portion of my life.  I had no real idea what I was walking into and because of that my stomach was churning as I drove towards Gaithersburg - not knowing that my life would change again in mere hours.

Dramatic enough for you?  I make it sound like a drive to Gaithersburg was like Apollo 11 and the moon landing.  (ok - maybe not that serious)

What I’m really talking about was my first workout with Soldierfit.  I walked into a room with 40 plus strangers and 1 person that I knew and walked out part of what feels like a family of people all there for their own reasons but all working towards a common goal - to be healthier each day.  So - THIS is my addiction and it is serious. 

What is Soldierfit you may be asking?  Let me do my best to explain how/what I feel Soldierfit is. 

(and before I go on - might I add that I am NOT being paid for this but it may sound like a sales pitch)

Soldierfit is not a gym or a building or anything physical.  In fact, with most everything we do in a session - you don’t need anything physical to have a Soldierfit Basic Training class.  (by the way - there are 4 convenient locations where you too can enjoy an intense workout)  Basic Training consists of a warm-up jog and stretches and then there are 5 stations set up that work on one or more muscle group.  You workout at each station and a times interval and then move to the next station.  In between stations and after/before starting stations again there are other exercises too.  That is what the actual workout part of an hour Basic Training class is.  (again - at 4 convenient locations - visit www.soldierfit.com for more information)  Beyond that though, it is so much more.  In one Basic Training you will have skill levels from ripped like Jesus folks down to slightly less fatass folks that are uncoordinated (like yours truly) but you go at your own pace.  There is no competition, there is no shame for being done after somebody else - there is the opposite - those that may finish an exercise before others cheer on those (like yours truly) who are slightly behind.  I have attended sessions at 2 of the 4 locations and this is the exact same feeling you get from any location and any session you attend.  You are encouraged to work as hard as you can work (and then work harder) and you know what?  You do that exact thing.  It feels like a team/family where you work your ass off so as not to let the other person down.  (and might I add at 4 locations in Maryland)  During the workout you have no time to look around and see the other “troops” but when you have a break, or once it is over - you can look at each other and smile because you know you’ve been through the same thing they have.  THAT is what Soldierfit is to me.  It has absolutely nothing to do with any building, piece of equipment or fancy signs.  It is a group of people standing together yelling “WE ARE, I AM”

I have been doing a lot of different workout things over the last 9 months - and I sit here on a Wednesday night (after going this morning) thinking of how I can’t wait to go Friday after work and considering driving back to Frederick to do the late evening session…I haven’t had that feeling before.   The summer bootcamp workouts I did last year were as close as it got - but I think the size of each of Soldierfit’s sessions (at 4 locations) is what is has driven the addiction to a new level. 

So I’m admitting to the addiction - but PLEASE do not schedule an intervention. 

(PS - many thanks Natacha)

Ok - I swear - I’m done with my sales pitch for the night.  (I think)  Now back to our regularly scheduled program…

When I last left you - I had reached a plateau stage and it was….well…sucky.  But, I had a plan and was determined that this was only going to be a temporary plateau.  (did you know a man a plan a canal panama is a palindrome?  Do you know what a palindrome is?)   So, I went to work doing my SWIMTASTIC, RACQUETTASTIC, STRENGTHTASTIC and RUNTASTIC routines and kicked it up a notch.

BAM!

I started with a personal trainer only a few days after my last entry and have been working with him until he left.  (I apparently drove him to quit - or he found a better job)  So twice a week I was doing that and mixing in the rest of the workouts.  I enjoyed the personal trainer but it wasn’t what I was looking for really.  (which is why I tried Soldierfit)  I have 3 sessions to finish it out and I am glad that I did this - it taught be the right way to do exercises and it taught me some weight routines that I can do on my own.  It was a positive experience and got me out of my comfort zone in the gym.  The good news is - within a week of starting the personal training - the weight loss started again and has continued on.  So - apparently the plan worked?!  (or I’m just a lucky ass)  The relief I felt after the first few weeks with weight continuing to come off was enormous.  Tomorrow I go back for one of my last training sessions and to get measured again - looking forward to seeing the results. 

I’m still a work in progress on the whole dressing part.  I’m more comfortable in the new clothes I bought so that is a positive.  The downside to it is I think the reason I am comfortable in them is that some of them are already falling off of me.  (jeans especially)  Good problem to have really - so I will not complain.  But - if anybody out there in this world is a tailor or knows one that is CHEAP (like free) be sure to let me know because I have some work for them to do!  I’m now drinking a cup of coffee nearly everyday also - oh how I missed coffee.  We were lovers that were apart for so long and now back together.  Reunited - and it feels so good.  J

Lastly - and this may come as a shock to many of you - you may want to sit down for this if you happen to be standing.  Ok - sitting now?  I have decided that I will not be purchasing Steelers PSLs once I hit my 200 and under goal weight.  The more I thought about the cash I would have to put down to purchase the PSLs and then the cash yearly to get the tickets, the more I thought it was a bad financial decision.  (it would cost about $5000 a seat to purchase PSLs and then $1000 a seat per year to buy the tickets - and those are for not so great seats)  So, I will save away $1000 a year and purchase tickets to the games I want to see and sit where I want to sit and save the other money for something I can use all year around.  (hmmmmm - like say a Jeep Wrangler anyone???)  So yea, I already got my reward ahead of time - sue me?  But, I am so laser focused to hit the 200 and below mark - it is GOING to happen. 

(and be looking for an invite to a party at my house on May 26 - coming to everyone that reads this - and really everyone I know too but of course the people that read this first)

Ah - the fun part now - the numbers!!

275 days without soda/tea (really anything but water, coffee and beer - gotta have the beer)
95 pounds lost since my heaviest weight (312)
85 pounds lost in the last 275 days
72 pounds lost since starting my heavy workout phase (234 days)
17 pounds until my ultimate goal (199.9) and I already have my reward
My current weight is now 217 pounds

Will Landis reach 199.9 pounds?
Will his addiction to Soldierfit get worse?
Will the next blog entry actually be funny?

Tune in next time
Same Bat Time
Same Bat Channel

Holy Fatass Batman!

Much love,

Landis

Day 202 - 241

#FAIL

Webster defines the word fail in a few ways:

To fall short
To be unsuccessful
To miss performing an expected service or function

Webster always defines failure in a few ways:

A lack of success
A state of inability to perform
A fracturing or giving way under stress

Why do you care?  (good question…because I care!)  Why do I care?  Because for the first time since June of last year or 241 days, I have failed at something.  During my last entry I had set a goal of weighing 222 pounds by Super Bowl Sunday or 90 total pounds lost in the year since my horrible epiphany of my corpulence last Super Bowl Sunday.  (sounds better than realizing I’m a fatass)  January started out well - kept losing until mid month when everything…well…stopped.  First it was a day, then a few days, then a week and then a few weeks went by and when I stepped onto the scale in the morning there was no change.  I was literally within .4 pounds of my weight from the day before.  How did it happen?  Seriously, I was working out the same amount and eating the same amount - how in the hell did math fail me?  Working off more than you take in worked for 7.5 months!  I ALMOST said FML….but then I would have to shoot myself because I hate those letters.   Yes, I had reached my plateau - and it sucked!  After getting over the initial disappointment and shock and all the rest of it - I had to realize it had happened for the exact reason I thought it never would happen - because I didn’t change anything.  DUH!  I had read enough articles to know this but it wasn’t ever going to happen to me, right?  So - I had to change some things.  So - I started a new fitness schedule.  I won’t only be doing swimming (SWIMTASTIC) on a nightly basis - its time to mix in racquetball (RACQUETTASTIC?) and running (RUNTASTIC) and now personal training (STRENGTHTASTIC) and make some changes.  I also had to change one more thing - my expectations.  Of course its easy to assume you will keep going losing 10+ pounds a month until you hit your goal - especially after 7 months of success - but its dumb to expect it to continue.  I realized that if I didn’t change my expectations that there was a chance that all of this momentum will turn back into bad habits and weight gain.  Yes, the scale is still important and I will continue to weigh myself regularly but there are also other numbers that are important - 2 specifically that I will also track - body fat percentage and waist size in my clothes.  No, I will not be happy if I gain weight, but with a 2 day a week strength training schedule for an hour each plus other workouts, I have now become happy to maintain my same weight - and be pleasantly surprised to lose for now.  THIS is where I have failed many times before - and where I will not fail this time.  Its time to kick this into a different gear - to turn it up to 11 so to speak.  Lets just hope that I don’t require to turn it up to 12 because then I might spontaneously combust, which happens dozens of time a year.  (ok - enough Spinal Tap references for now)  The last few weeks have been tough to work through, but I’m positive about where I’m headed now.  Yes - the goal for me is still 200 pounds and below - but I’m going to have to understand that it could take me longer than expected.

So - while I may have failed at a goal, I am most certainly NOT a failure.  That is important. 

Anywho…lets catch up on some things.  First - I have started to introduce caffeine back into my body again.  It started like this - I was at a restaurant in DC over the weekend and breakfast was happening and the smell of coffee was about as intoxicating as just about anything I’ve ever dealt with.  So - I broke down and ordered a cup of coffee.  (ONE being important here - and when I was asked if I wanted more I said no)  I realized that the reason I quit coffee/caffeine was not because of calories but because I had read a lot that caffeine causes our bodies to want more food.  So - I felt that my willpower could overcome this after 7 months and had some coffee.  (let me tell you - it was an amazing cup of coffee that I savored with every sip)  I can say this - after that long without coffee I was a little amped up Sunday afternoon and then experienced a small crash in the afternoon.  Which made me think it was time to return some of the normalcy back to things.  The last 30ish pounds I have to lose will be a longer process and its ok to have a coffee from time to time and its ok to have a good beer from time to time.  The time to time part must be clearly defined in my brain because one day cannot turn into 5 days.  This is a strange time in this process for me because as I said before - we are at the point where I have failed oh so many times. 

Lets talk about something else from the weekend - shall we?  So - I broke down over the weekend and went clothes shopping.  (with help thankfully - as I HATE to shop)  And about $500 later - I have the start of a new wardrobe.  What did I learn from this trip? 

1. I STILL hate to clothes shop
2. Clothes are freaking expensive
3. I have absolutely no clue how to dress as a non fat person

I could write volumes of books on how to dress as a fat man.  The number 1 secret I learned is to wear the right size pants - realistically a size above what you truly fit in.  This avoids the “muffin top” issue that plagues many people in the world.  Then, you wear loose fitting clothing and layer clothing on top of each other.  All of this disguises the rolls and other things from the outside world.  (literally, I could write volumes on this)  Thing is, I still look at clothes and shop as a fat man.  The clothes I have been wearing I’m fine with because they fit the above dressing style.  Everybody else tells me that they look huge on me.  As I tried clothes on over the weekend I came to realize one thing - if I feel uncomfortable in the outfit, that pretty much means it looks good.  Each time I would walk out in something new and it felt “tight” (even though it wasn’t really tight, but it felt that way to me) I would get people saying how good it looked.  (apparently they weren’t looking at the face)  This is something that will be a challenge to me.  I have to be able to be in public and feel uncomfortable and force myself to feel uncomfortable until I can learn to be comfortable in those new clothes.  Yes - it’s a little bit strange - but then so am I!

OK - lets review some numbers and I will end this here thing:

241 days without soda/tea
0 days without any caffeine (had coffee this morning)
84 pounds lost since my heaviest weight (312)
74 pounds lost in the last 241 days
61 pounds lost since starting my heavy workout phase (200 days)
28 pounds until my ultimate goal and PSLs
My current weight is now 228 pounds

As of my shopping trip I am now wearing jeans that are 4 sizes smaller or 8 inches on the waist…and they are a wee bit loose too.

Today also marks Day 200 of using MyFitnessPal on a daily basis.  Hard to believe it has been 200 days - seems like yesterday!

Well - I will leave y’all with this:  (yes I said y’all)

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts”
Winston Churchill

Peace and Love….Peace and Love,

LANDIS

Day 153 - 201

That’s right - its about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. 

C’mon C’mon
Feel It Feel It   
Feel The Vibration

;-)

It is the eve of the New Year’s Eve and I finally have a few minutes to sit and reflect on the last 201 days of my life.  It really does seem like just a few days ago that I wrote down my first plea for those to help with words of support.  Yet, 201 days have passed and there area so many things running through my brain right now.  (ok - for me that is like 3 things but I am on overload!!)

Lots of things have happened since my last update….lets start with the fact that this fatass ran a 5k!?  That’s right - Fatass to 5k in 5 Months actually happened!  Let me start by saying I still don’t enjoy running, but I’m going to keep trying until I do.  The run was not without incident - but nothing major.  The run was on Thanksgiving so on Monday I decided to get a last run in after work.  It was pouring that day so I went to a gym with an indoor running track.  Somewhere around the 3rd mile of the run a lovely muscle in my fine looking yet non existent ass decided to pop.  I nursed it on Tuesday and Wednesday and by race morning, after a nice stretch it felt somewhat ok.  (though I’m pretty sure it was the numbing lotion I used combined with compression pants that made my fine looking yet non existent ass feel ok)  So - race starts and I get into my stride, stop for some water about halfway through and then start going again and yea…it goes again.  So - I’m now about halfway through so turning around is pointless so I keep motoring on.  So, by the time I get to the end my motoring looks more like Gollum hobbling through Middle-Earth BUT I did cross the finish line in 44 minutes AND I wasn’t the last person to do so.  (that was truly my only goal for the 5k)  I now have a time to work towards and I’m going to work on the running part as 2012 progresses.  Now, for the next 3 days I also hobbled along but all in all it was still worth the pain. 

As for Thanksgiving dinner - it wasn’t really as much of a temptation as one would think as I’m not really a fan of turkey but I was able to get through the day right at my calorie intake for the day.  (buffered by the 5k run and a 30 minute swim afterwards)  Score two times for the big guy on Thanksgiving day!

Word….

I want to take you back in time a little bit to the summer of 2010.  I went to the oh so wonderful Hershey Park (The Sweetest Place on Earth) to ride some rides and have a day of fun.  One of the first rides we decided to go on was called “The Claw”.  If you are not familiar with “The Claw” you are in a harness and it swings back and forth and spins you around and is truly not for someone that has issues with vertigo.  (thankfully I do not)  So, we are waiting in line and I’m thinking nothing of it because I’ve never had an issue getting on any ride before, PLUS the outside seats are for the larger folks as the sign says.  Nothing to worry about.  Yea….right.  So I squeeze in the seat and pull the harness down and they have this awesome system to detect if you are locked in or not - either a red or green light.  Mine was red.  So they came over and started pushing on it to lock it in tighter.  Nope - still red.  After a few minutes of this and me feeling that my shoulder might break from the pushing I was asked to leave the ride and wait for my friends.  Folks - I’ve done the walk of shame a few times before in my life, but that walk of shame did not compare to walking out of this ride.  (this probably should have been my wake up call but I wasn’t ready to be woken up apparently)  Fast forward to December 10, 2011.  I’m back at the Hershey Park (STILL THE Sweetest Place on Earth) with friends for the Christmas Candylane light show.  As we are walking through the park I notice that “The Claw” is open and start to tell my story of shame.  (the story of shame referring to said ride, not the countless other stories of shame from my life)  As we were walking back, my friends said that would wait with me and get on the ride so I could have a healing with Hershey Park.  As we were waiting in what seemed like a forever long line in what felt like sub zero temperatures (I have a tendency to exaggerate) I am still worried about the ride as I was wearing a heavy coat and such.  I couldn’t handle the walk of shame again.  Its our turn to get on the ride and I walk up, sit in the outside seat (for the larger folks) and pull down the harness thing and look up and BOOM - there’s a green light.  Yea - I’m locked in.  Ironically, someone else had to do their own walk of shame that evening as they couldn’t get it but not me - I’m locked in.  I was truly Hershey Park Happy.  (or is that Hershey Park Glad??)  Many thanks to those friends who braved the sub zero temperatures to help a friend out!

So - 25 hours left in 2011.  Time to get a little reflective.  (I promise - like Johnson Baby Shampoo - there will be no more tears)  2011 started out to be a year where I was yet again ignoring my body telling me to make a change….much like all of the years before it.  For 6 months, I let things really happen as they happen.  Really through pure luck I was able to shed 10 pounds coming into June.  From June on, things clicked and I started setting and hitting all of my goals.  I’m very happy to announce that the final goal for 2011 has been achieved.  A very good friend of mine challenged me to match or exceed my lowest known adult weight before the end of 2011 when I saw here in July.  At that point I weighed about 289 pounds and the thought of accomplishing that goal seemed impossible at best.  So - I started doing the little goals here and there - all along though this one was in the back of my mind.  As the days moved on, I started to realize that not only was this possible, it was GOING to happen.  My lightest weight ever seen as an adult was 235 pounds (and this was after being sick for 8 days and not being able to eat anything solid so really I was 235 for all of about 30 minutes I think)  So, I’m happy to say that as of thing morning I weighed 235.4 pounds and I fully expect to be under 235 tomorrow morning when I weigh myself.  (if not, I’m still going to say I hit the goal as even using standard rounding tactics this WOULD qualify as 235 pounds and the last time I checked we weren’t going by The Price Is Right rules)  2011 then can be a year where I weighed my heaviest and lightest adult weight - all within the same year.  So, what was first impossible became possible and then became reality. 

If anyone hasn’t been able to tell already - the change to swimming after the Boot Camp workouts ending has been very good for me.  Oh and while leaves SUCK ASS they do provide quite a good workout!

So - here are the numbers as of today:

201 days without soda/tea
185 days without any caffeine
77 pounds lost since my heaviest weight (312)
67 pounds lost in the last 201 days
54 pounds lost since starting my heavy workout phase (158 days)
35 pounds until my ultimate goal and PSLs
My current weight is now 235 pounds

I’ve also lost 7 inches on my waist…picture to come later.

Now, no good plan for the upcoming year is without some specifics - so here is a sneak peak at where I’m headed in 2012.  My first goal is to weigh 222 pounds by Super Bowl Sunday.  (this is not just some weird number - it would represent 90 pounds lost from last Super Bowl Sunday)  From here, I am going to take into account a possible slow down in weight loss as I get closer to 200.  But - here goes - May 19.  By May 19 I will weigh UNDER 200 pounds (remember 199.9 qualifies for me) and will have hit my goal.  That gives me over 3 months of time to lose the remaining 22 pounds after Super Bowl Sunday.  Currently I am losing just over 10 pounds a month, so even with a slow down, this should be a realistic goal.  How am I going to celebrate this you ask?  Well - on May 19th I will be taking part in Warrior Dash here in Maryland.  (just really decided this a few hours ago)  What a way to celebrate the end of nearly a year of work and sweat by rolling around in mud, right?  (you too could be a part of this wonderful celebration if you’d like -just message me for details?!)  So - there it is - my 2012 plan.  Of course - along the way there will be more blog entries and I’m sure some tough days as I get closer and closer to The Final Countdown.  (I guess there is no one to blame….we’re leaving ground…will things every be the same again?)  Ohh….it’s the Final Countdown.  (Europe - for those asking - “Who sings that song?”)

So, as 2011 closes out - let me be the first to say “Happy New Year” to anybody and everybody that takes the time to read this blog.  I really appreciate the kind words and support that you have all given over the past few months and look forward to even more in 2012.  You all are truly very special people.  (and I mean special in the nice way and not the window licking/short bus riding kind of way)

Much love and other pleasantries,

LANDIS

Day 100 - 152

Super Bowl Sunday 2011 was supposed to be another one of the great days in my life.  Saturday night - I was pumped, I was having fun and I was having a few beers.  It was a warm up for Sunday - and I couldn’t wait for the day to come.  Well - Sunday came.  As I laid there on the floor of a friends bathroom trying to figure out why I felt so sick and why even just laying there I was dizzy I thought:

“Something is wrong here”

Yes - something was wrong but I couldn’t figure it out.  So I started recounting Saturday night - did I have too many?  Did I mix liquor with beer?  The answer was no.  I maybe had 8 beers on a mostly empty stomach and fell asleep.  (and for those that don’t know - 8 beers for me is usually not a big deal)  So - why do I feel so bad?  Come to think of it, this had been happening for a while I thought.  The last few months even.  (clearly it takes me some time to put the pieces together sometimes)  Finally, I was able to get a shower and get moving (somewhat) through my day.  Before I left I saw a scale and stepped on it - and to my shock and disgust it read - 312.  By the time I left my friend’s house I had decided that this (and the past few months) was just a fluke and forget about it.  I did what any hungover American male would do - went to McDonalds and got some food.  Surely THAT will make me feel better.  (though it never really does)  I went on my way through the day, saw my niece and nephew and then to a Super Bowl Party where I was still feeling to sick to eat or drink anything.  What was supposed to be a fun night of watching a big game with friends and beers didn’t happen.  (I’m not going to go through the rest of the night but everybody knows my team lost)

I drove home that night in silence.  The day that was supposed to be awesome wasn’t.  I got home and decided to use my scale because clearly the one at the other house was wrong.  (it HAD to be)  Step on the old thing and boom - 305.  See - I knew that old one was wrong but wait - what 305????!!!!  (editors note - if you recall that old scale of mine was off by 7-8 pounds to really the first scale was right)

305 (really 312) pounds?!?!  What??   How??

I stared at that number for a while.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  I took that real long look that I hadn’t taken in months.  (mostly because I would run past any mirror I saw so as to not look at myself)  Then I realized that I had been fooling myself for the past year - things had gotten that bad.  The following words went circling through my brain:

Fat
Disgusting
Slob
Husky (really - that is the worst word - even the mere mention of that word gives me shivers)
Tubby
Ugly
Worthless
Obese (saw that on my doctor chart the last time I went - haven’t been back since)
Gross

I was depressed.  My team had just lost the Super Bowl and it was obviously all my fault (just ask - I have proof)  and the scale had just shown me to be over 300 pounds.  I went to bed.  I didn’t know what else to do.

I had the next 2 days off and sat in silence and alone.  I had to do something about this but I didn’t know what or how I would do it.  The only thing I could come up with was to cut down/out any alcohol intake.  That and try to do better at what I ate. 

That was my rock bottom moment - and it was my own personal hell. 

I had to face the facts and face myself.  Over the next few months those 2 things I changed helped me to lose 10 pounds - which was a good start. 

That is the history of 2011 that brought me to day 0 in June.  While Super Bowl Sunday was rock bottom, the next few months were only marginally better.  I had no clue how to start on fixing my problems. 

Why did I write all of this down?  First I wanted to come clean with whoever decides to read this with just how bad my problem was.  Until this point I have been using pounds lost but no real weights because quite frankly I was embarrassed.  Second I hope that if someone who is reading this feels close to the same way I did on that terrible Sunday (minus the team losing stuff) to know that all hope is not lost.  Even if you feel lost and without hope to fix the situation - you can and you will.

Ok - enough sappy crap. 

Here are the numbers as of today:

152 days without soda/tea
136 days without any caffeine
63 pounds lost since my heaviest weight (312)
53 pounds lost in the last 152 days
40 pounds lost since starting heavy workout phase and calorie counting (109 days)
4 pounds until my next goal
49 pounds until my ultimate goal and PSLs
My current weight is now 249 pounds. 

I have set a mini goal to be at 245 pounds by Thanksgiving.  That will give me 10 pounds more to lose in 2011 so I can start 2012 matching my lightest ever adult weight.  Its realistic and its going to happen.

Basically I’m completely out of clothes to wear.  I kept a lot of clothes from my past sizes but now I’m smaller than them all.  It sucks because now that I’m mid weight loss I don’t want to buy new clothes.  So…that is my justification by the way for when you see me wearing the same thing over and over for the next little bit! 

Will update again soon - more to come.

Richard Simmons…..OUT!

Day 75 - 100

#WINNING

Where to start…???  So - here we are - day 100.  I feel like I should have found some moving quote or phrase that motivated me to keep going in the last 100 days and share it with you.  So….here are a few off the top of my head that I can share :

“Do or do not, there is not try”
“Either you define the moment or the moment defines you”
“Your gonna eat lightning, and your gonna crap thunder”
“Losers always wine about their best.  Winners go home and f*** the prom queen”

Ok really - these are just lines from some of my favorite movies and I’ve taken absolutely no motivation from them at any point in the last 100 days…but maybe someone else might.

Now that I have hit my stride of 100 days of this - a few people have started ask me how I’m doing this.  While that may sound like an easy question for me to answer - it has made me think a lot.  (often times this can be painful for me to do)  As I push through the intense pain of thinking it has been hard to come up with anything other than “I’m working out a lot and eating less” because that is really what I’m physically doing.  But that is only part of it - the mental/emotional part is what has been harder.  What I’ve come to realize is that the key for me to cut down on the food intake was to make food non emotional.  What does that even mean??  In the past, I would want to eat something because of the taste or how I felt after eating it.  By being conscious of the calories I’m eating, food has become more of a numbers game to me.  It works perfectly with my OCD brain.  I know that isn’t the answer for everybody, but it has been the single largest breakthrough for me. 

The working out has been great for me - especially over the last 60 days.  I was even shocked at myself when I asked my trainer to write down a list of exercises I could do while on vacation earlier in the month - and I actually did them too!  Tonight, he and I were talking about what is next and he is encouraging me to do a Turkey Trot 5k run on Thanksgiving.  Let’s review a few things about me and running.  Until recently, I was convinced the ONLY reason to run was if you were being chased.  (so naturally I never wanted to piss off the wrong people because I never wanted to run)  I have always been rather rotund so running and I have never been on speaking terms.  During the boot camp workouts recently, we have been doing a lot of interval running on the track.  Let me tell you - it plain SUCKS!  But - as the days/weeks have gone on I have already found that my stamina has increased dramatically and I’ve been cutting down my times in 800 and 400 meters.  I’ve also noticed that the amount of time in between an interval run when I’m recovered and able to do it again has been cut down too.  So….now I’m seriously considering doing a 5k…am I crazy?  I found a 7 week training program that sounds pretty reasonable to do.  If so, I will need to start the first week of October to be ready in time.  If I do it - I’m going to have to rename this blog - “From Fatass to 5k in 5 months”  Catchy title - don’t ya think?

So - at last writing I had set a short term goal to be down 40 pounds by the start of football season - and I did it!  So my reward was to have a day free of counting calories and such.  Yea….that wasn’t as successful - apparently I can’t do that after all!  But, its now time to look towards setting a new intermediate goal and an appropriate reward.  So - here’s the goal - whether or not I run the 5k on Thanksgiving, my goal is to lose 18 pounds by Thanksgiving Day.  If I accomplish that plus the 5k on the same day - I’m having a huge problem thinking of an appropriate reward.  I’m looking for some thoughts here.  (if there’s anybody out there)  I’ve got the tattoo reward down (even thought I haven’t gotten one yet) and the ultimate goal of Steelers PSLs but I’m not sure what I should choose for this one.  What are some thoughts out there?  I am looking for some help.

Quick review of the statistics:

100 days without soda/tea
84 days without any caffeine
44 pounds lost since my heaviest weight
34 pounds lost in last 100 days
21 pounds lost since starting boot camp workouts and calorie counting (57 days)
18 pounds until my next goal

Nearly down 2 full pants size…and sadly the ability to wear my Steelers camos.  The greatest thing that has started to happen over the last few weeks is the amount of people saying something about me losing weight.  I look at myself everyday and therefore I can’t tell a difference, but something extra has happened within the last 2 weeks that has really shown to others.  I can’t tell you how good hearing it from somebody else feels. 

Love And Rockets….

LANDIS

(Jeremy - I realize this entry is probably not even a B- standard - I promise to do better next time)   

Day 54 - 74

I’m Chris Landis and I’m addicted to football…

Yup - that’s the statement of the night - I’m admitting right here and right now that I am powerless over watching football, or talking about football, or playing fantasy football, or thinking about football.  Nope - this is not the start of a program to rid my life of football - quite the opposite.

Moving on…..

So - its now day 74 of this great project of mine.  Where did the last 10+ weeks go?  Its really hard to believe that when this started it was only June and now we are just days away from September.  Apparently time really does fly by when you are having fun?!  I just had a weekend that was a huge obstacle for me - a wedding (with all the beer/wine I could drink) and a party with a huge layout of food set before me all day.  I did my Friday morning I’m gonna drink walk and did the best I could to stay away from temptation and came home Sunday having lost a half a pound.  Who da man???

Lets talk about goals - cuz you gotta have goals.

So a few days ago I hit my first weight loss goal - and early in September I will be getting my latest tattoo!  So, I now have a new/short term goal.  I want to lose a minimum of 5 more pounds by the start of football season.  (now…I’m going to be generous to myself and use 9/11 as the start of the season to give myself more time)  If I can accomplish this short term goal I will have started this football season 40 (or more) pounds lighter than I ended last football season.

A - that would be pretty much awesome
B - that would also mean I could fit back into my sexy Steelers Camo pants
C - really - I got nothing else for C

So - with this goal I need a reward, right?  Well…the reward comes on 9/11 when I go to the first football game of the season to watch my Steelers play the Ravens in Baltimore.  The reward comes in a day to drink beers and have fun without using calorie count.  (realistically I probably still will but that’s ok)  I am a bit concerned with derailing after this but I feel very confident that I have overcome the demons of the past and will be able to restart my health regime after just a 1 day break.  If not - kick my ass my friends.

Now - lets talk a little about the longest term goal I have set.  So, I’ve been sitting and thinking of some of the huge things in life I’ve always wanted to have…and just what could be a reward appropriate of my long term goal.  I’ve decided on a few things - and here I’m writing it down to make it official.  My ultimate end goal is to have the scale have the number 1 on it as the first number when I step my not as fat ass on it.  (note - that could be 199.9 pounds but for me that is what I need)  I can honestly not remember the last time I stepped on a scale and saw it start with a 1...I can guarantee I wasn’t driving a car at the time it did.  I know that I have a VERY long way to go to get to that goal and the speed at which I lose the weight will slow down, but I really feel confident that this is the time for me to get there.  So - just what goal could make me push so hard to get there?   Well - WHEN I reach that milestone I will be promptly purchasing 2 PSL’s for Steeler season tickets.  Well - as promptly as I can pull together the money to do so at least.  But I will absolutely get them - even if I have to take a loan out on my 401k to do so.  I have wanted this for such a long time - and if you know me well you know that there is nothing that gets me as pumped up as a Steelers game - you know that I will do my everything to reach this goal.  I know that it will be a long road and there will be times that I will doubt I can make it but I won’t give up.

Ok - so now lets talk some numbers!

74 Days without a drop of soda/tea
58 Days without a drop of caffeine
35 Pounds lost since my heaviest weight recorded (Super Bowl Sunday)
25 Pounds lost in the last 74 days
5 Pounds to go to my next goal

I’m also down 1 full pants size across the board.  I even had to get my dress pants altered last week because I couldn’t keep them up anymore!  Now, I’m working on the next size!  More to come on that in the future!

And that’s all I’ve got to say about the war in Vietnam…

LANDIS

Day 44 - 53

Hello Clarice….

I promise tonight there will be no more tales of unfair scales or the conspiracy of the company (won’t call out the name to protect them of course) that built my new scale against me.  No - no theories or rants - its already in the past.  Just like Timon always says - “you got to put your behind in your past.”  And let me tell you - I have quite a behind!  ;)

Lots of things have happened over the past 9 (er) days.  (did I catch a 9er in there?)  On the evening of my last dissertation on life I had just gone to my first “boot camp” workout.  Since then I have been back now 4 more times.  I will say that it took 2 full days to recover from the first workout, but since then the pain has subsided and by the next morning I am good to go.  Guess that means its working?  Anyway, I have been able to do more and more of the activites (or do them faster/better) as the sessions have gone on.  It is truly incredible what your body can do when your mind is involved.  Does it hurt sometimes?  Yes…of course.  But, when you know the pain is temporary then you know you can push through.  The only nagging thing for me is some pretty severe arch pain in my right foot when I run for a long period of time.  I did some reading and am going to look for better shoes and some shoe inserts for arch support.  Hopefully that will solve the problem.  I had originally thought my knees would be the major problem, but while I wear a brace on my bad knee while working out, it usually comes off mid session and there is no more or less pain without it.  Outside of those workouts, still doing regular workouts in the gym.  In fact, I’ve missed only 1 day since July 21st.  Woot!  (yes I just said Woot! - wanna fight about it?)

I also started using MyFitnessPal when I last left you.  I’m pretty much in love with this application…ok I admit it…I AM in love with this application.  I have yet to find a food that isn’t already loaded into this app.  The only time it becomes difficult is when you go out to each at a non chain restaurant.  So, on days like this you can look up the calories etc of the food you are eating and enter it in manually.  My allotted calorie intake per day is 2090 - though I can say I have only gotten close to that 1 time - DAMN YOU beer for tasting so good.  Other then that, I’ve been staying around the 1600 calorie mark daily.  Its great - if you eat something that is store bought - you can scan the barcode and all of the health information is then loaded into your tracker.   That is ALMOST as super/perfect as I am!  You also have the ability to enter in your workouts so you can deduct those calories from your daily total.  Its very motivating to not grab that extra snack at night when you look down and see you are at 450 net calories for the day.  (or you can grab that 1 beer and savor every second of it….NOT that I have done that or anything)  I really can’t say enough good things about it - if you are at all interested in reducing your calorie intake I HIGHLY recommend downloading this app to your Verizon Wireless Smartphone!  (let me plug my company - thank you)  I can tell you that nightly I think of snacking and look at my phone and go - no - you are doing so well today.  It gives you willpower when you might not have had any already.  Ok, enough about this app for today - but if anybody knows anyone that developed this app - I’d like to be a non-celebrity spokesman.  Maybe I could be the Jared of MyFitnessPal?  Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Now here is the fun part - the numbers!  (really though - to me the numbers/data are the fun part)  Tonight I will do it in a countdown kinda way

53 Days without a drop of soda/tea
37 Days without a drop of caffeine
27 Pounds lost since my heaviest weight
17 Pounds lost in the last 53 days
6 Pounds lost since the “great scale scandal” of 2011
5 Pounds to go until my first goal is reached!  (hello new tattoo!!!)

Last thing to brag about - by the time I hit 5 more pounds off and my goal I will be officially down one pant size in 53 days.  (ok, truth serum here - its more like 2 because on day 0 the pants I was wearing were WAY too tight and now they are falling down)  This is great because it means an entire wardrobe of clothes starts to open up to me by then.  I put on some of my old dress pants the other day and they fit but just a wee bit snug, so guaranteed in 5 pounds I’m going to be looking fine…or something closely resembling fine…or really I’m gonna look like a smaller but still awkward looking me.  (sigh) 

Last thought for the night is this - I’m starting to understand more of why I have failed miserably in the past on my health.  The most important part of your body when it comes to being healthy is your brain.  If you are not convinced that you can do it, or not committed to it then you may succeed in the short term, but long term things will go back to where they were.  So far, my short term brain is strong…I can only hope and work towards my long term brain being as strong.  (who knew?  Apparently I am not totally sick in the head - just mostly)

This is it - I’m done writing for the evening.  One of these fine days, I will write less perhaps.

Until then, I must tell you that I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.  That is all.  Thank you.

LANDIS

Day 32 - 43

Let me first start this whole thing out by saying one simple thing - I hate scales and humidity.  (ok -- that was two simple things - sue me!)  Somewhere in the last week I decided it was time to change out the old school dial scale I’ve been using for about 10 years and replace it with a brand new/high tech digital scale that measures all kinds of other things outside of just weight.  Great idea - right?  WRONG!  So, apparently after 10 years of me stepping my fat ass on and off the old scale, it doesn’t quite measure accurate weight anymore - in fact it registers oh….about 8 pounds lighter than the new scale.  Imagine my shock to step on the new scale and to automatically weigh 8 pounds more than I did in the morning on the old scale.  Needless to say I was not pleased.  (I realize that using logic I still lost about 15 pounds so far since the old scale was off by 8 pounds the entire time but that doesn’t help when the new digital scale boldly proclaims a number that you thought you had passed a few weeks before.)  So now I have to use both scales so I can still measure my weight for my first goal to hit…to be fair.  Once that first goal is cleared I can throw the old scale away…perhaps in a fitting “Office Space” kind of way?  Oh - and as for humidity?  Other then being my mortal enemy for pretty much ever it also has this neat side effect of adding weight to your body, especially if you are working out during humidity.  (neat articles to read on this but it is your body’s way to compensate for the fact that you are sweating more - it retains more water)  So….the REALLY humid days happened to be right after I bought the new scale…and after I recovered from the shock of being about 8 pounds heavier then I originally thought I weighed myself the next day to learn I had gained about 2 pounds - most likely from water weight.  Quite honestly I am surprised that the new scale didn’t end up on the front yard!  (see pictures of a Christmas Tree on Facebook if you need reminders)  So, I decided to do the only smart thing I could think of - just not use either scale for a few days!  Therefore, I have no real updates on where I am on weight loss right now - will have to update at a later posting.

(On a side note - I wonder why my English teachers always said I wrote with run-on sentences and paragraphs??)

Now that I’m done bitching about the weather and how scales aren’t fair to fat people, lets move on?  So, today marks day 43 of this whole journey of mine.  So, that also means 43 days of having no amount of soda - diet or regular.  I think this is the longest I’ve gone without soda/tea etc.  Tomorrow also marks 4 weeks (or 28 days if you prefer) without ANY caffeine.  So, truly I have had nothing to drink but water and the occasional adult beverage.  I can pretty much guarantee that this is the longest time I’ve gone without caffeine ever.  Thankfully, my body has gotten used to just drinking water and at this point I don’t miss soda and truthfully the only thing I miss about the morning coffee is the smell of it brewing…maybe I can find a coffee smelling air freshener and be set?

Since the last entry - been able to get myself up and working out nearly on a daily basis.  I’m starting back with a lot of walking and simple weight routines in my gym at home.  I worked myself up to find a 3.1 mile trek through the neighborhood - my goal is to work up to running this.  For now, I’m enjoying getting out of the house and walking.  There is something to be said for being outdoors and seeing the goal ahead of you versus a machine that you keep staring at the numbers waiting to hit your goal.  Plus - it gives great thinking time.  I will admit that I’m probably the ONLY person out walking carrying 2 phones with him, but that is who I am.  I use one to track the progress of the workout (and text message of course) and the other is pumping Pandora through my headphones.   Its either that or weights in the basement - pumping Rage Against The Machine through the house speakers - very loudly.  (poor Bandit)  Tonight started something new - a Boot Camp / Circuit Training group workout.  So - working out is a lot different with other people!  It is motivating because there are others there pushing you and rooting you on too.  But, since someone else is setting up the exercises the reality of how out of shape you are hits you.  Now, the good news is there were folks there who were definitely in better shape and THEY were sweating their ass off and in pain too!  I’m going back again Wednesday - my goal is to continue to go back until it gets easier.  (though I’m sure the trainer is going to kick it up a notch by then)

Whew - this is getting long!  Only one more thought and then I’m done.

Last thing - I just downloaded and started to use a new program tonight called “My Fitness Pal” - and I think it looks pretty sweet.  You set it up with your own information and the goal weight you want to hit and basically it is a calorie counter and exercise tracker.  I can see how this could become very motivating to use.  It tells you how many calories you should eat and then you can enter in everything you eat for the day.  I can say this - everything I ate today was found in the search and preloaded into the app on my phone which is awesome.  It also backs everything up to a website.  More information on that in a future entry.

I swear I’m done now.  Apparently I had a lot on my mind to get out tonight.

Hanging In A Buffalo Stance,

LANDIS

Day 15-31

Ladies and gentlemen/boys and girls/children of all ages (I figure the more I stretch the beginning the longer this blog entry will be!) - welcome back to my story.      It has been a while since I updated so I figured it was time to write something down.  So, here it goes.

First, lets hit the hard facts.  We are now at day 31 on this great journey and some changes have started to happen.  As of my last weigh in, I am down 15 pounds from the start of this…and that makes a total of 25 pounds from my heaviest weight earlier in the year.  Definite progress.  I’ve also been able to go a total of 15 days now without anything to drink but water.  (ok and beer)  I honestly thought that quitting caffeine would be the end of me, but quickly found out that I was able to shake it quickly.  As a rather positive side effect I have been sleeping a lot more consistently too.  I was an addict of the morning routine coffee for about 8 years now - and while it is strange to only have water in the morning, I don’t find that I am any more awake or tired during my day.  So, the good news about the first 31 days is that I’ve been able to control my eating/drinking habits and lose weight.

Is there bad news?  Eh…I’m not so sure about bad news but some disappointing news for me maybe.  While I was able to start out strong with the workout part of my routine it has unfortunately slacked off again.  Good news?  I have been able to remain active so at least I am not heading home from work at night and sitting around doing nothing.  So - I need to push myself again to start the weights and running routines that I started.  Thankfully, I can now be more confident about making better food choices so I can focus my energy on the workout part. 

All in all, I’m happy with how things are progressing…and look forward to day 62.…to see where I am then. 

So, I’ve decided on my first “victory” gift for myself.  In 10 more pounds, I will have hit my first goal and after many years of waiting and wanting…I’m going to get myself another tattoo.  I haven’t decided yet where and what I’m going to get but it is something to look forward to.  I can’t wait for these next 10 pounds to get outta here!

The last 2+ weeks has reminded me that one of the most important things in life is to have good friends and good family around you.  A big thank you goes out to anyone reading this that has been around over the last month and especially in the last 2 weeks.  Without good friends I would have most likely reverted to my old habits, or at least not stayed as strong. 

Unfortunately, this is about all the time I have to write tonight.  More regular updates will be coming soon - it was good to keep me honest with the working out. 

That is all from here - peace and chicken grease…

LANDIS

Day 8-14

Friends there is no way I could break this last week down on a day to day rundown.  First - you would be bored by the middle of Day if I tried.  Second - the last 7 days is a blur of thoughts and emotions and it is difficult for me to think of it as separate days as it felt like one extremely long day.  (I’d call it The Longest Day but then I’d owe some people that made a great movie in 1962 some money)  So, we will sum it all up in one word - difficult.

Lets start with some good news.  I did my first official weigh in this morning (ok this afternoon when I got up) and it looks like I’m down about 6 pounds in the last 2 weeks.  Though, after weighing in I realize I need to get a digital scale because I really have no clue how much I lost…just that the scale didn’t go as far as last time.  It is my best estimate on the 6 pounds, but I will say that I did weight myself 3 times and I took the average of the results.  Even on something like this, I must be highly scientific and precise! 

Days 8-14 involved the majority of my life being spent with family or in a hospital.  My mother was there, and my family and myself experienced just about every emotion a human can.  At some point each of us, separately from each other, thought we had said our final goodbyes.  (Thankfully, while there is a long road ahead for recovery, she is on the process of recovering)  During this time, I had the good fortune to meet a lot of great nurses and nurses assistants and admired their spirit and positive vibes.  (and a few not so great doctors that I hope to meet in a dark alley sometime soon)  I found out so many things I didn’t know about health and our bodies.  It occurred to me that even though I may think I know what I need to do to keep/make myself healthy - I am ignorant.  I simply don’t know what I don’t know.  My next step goal is to schedule myself a checkup with a doctor.  This is something long overdue for me - but I will face it knowing that there will probably be things I don’t want to hear from the doctor, but if it helps me in the long run, it is something that I must do.  I’m not sure what else to say about this here because I don’t think my brain has fully processed the last week.  If anything, it drives home the message that our health is the most important thing we can manage and control…and that doing so doesn’t come without hard work and persistence.  (on a side note - minus the doctors I would like to give a giant 5 Stars to York Hospital staff)  And that’s all I have to say about that…

While I didn’t get the opportunity to workout during this time, I did my best to remain as active as possible.  I parked the car further away from places so I could walk more…I did something each night with friends to keep from sitting and starting…etc.  This next week starts up the workout routine again - I can actually say I missed it.  I was able to keep up with eating well and can also announce that I’m 2 weeks soda free!  There were times that I was tempted to break the healthy eating but thankfully the brain was able to overcome the want to eat poorly.  I’m very glad that before this last week happened, I decided it was time for me to work on my health as I don’t know what I would have done without the focus of my brain on this.  I think I’ve said before - my mental health is as important in this whole process as my physical health.

Lets hope that this is the last of the downer entries.  What is best about the times life challenges us physically and mentally is that it teaches us two very important things.  1 - You are stronger than you think you are.  2 - You aren’t ever alone when you have good friends and family there to support you.  We as humans can move past struggling times and emerge stronger and better for it.  While I will never be thankful for the last 8+ days, I hope to be able to look back in 6 months and see how it molded me as a person.

Interestingly I’m watching Science Channel this evening and someone is trying to explain the universe comparing it to a bagel…and now I want cream cheese…

Damnit………..


LANDIS

Day 5/6/7

This weekend was stressful in many ways.  The details of the events are not important to this message - only the ways we deal with stressful events.  Where do we begin?  Friday seems like ages ago…how time flies when you aren’t having any fun.

Friday/Day 5

Finally!  I pushed myself to get up extra early and use the elliptical!  I had a feeling of satisfaction throughout the day!  An early morning workout is a sure way to set up for a good day - I made better decisions on what to eat/do from the morning workout.  Friday was also the first time that I went out to dinner since making a decision to be healthy…and what better challenge then to go to a bar/restaurant that specializes in fried goodness.  I was able to hold back and have a salad….score.  Then, to a baseball game…and no snacks.  (all of course meant I saved room for a few beers - some to celebrate a good time with an old friend and some to signal the anticipation of the rest of the weekend)

Saturday/Day 6

This day was planned to be a very busy day, but one where I was going to call some friends in town and meet them to at least be active outdoors.  Sadly, this was not meant to be.  I did take every opportunity I had to walk when I could and do something other then sit and wait.  The events did make it a very light food day with only a breakfast bar until thankfully my sister (and family) fed me dinner.  I was hungry still but didn’t eat too much and drank only water.  Baby steps - every little thing counts.  I was also up very late getting a lot of things done that were needed and was able to force off the late night munchies.  Mind over matter?

Sunday/Day 7

By far the hardest day of this whole adventure.  Exhausted isn’t even the word to describe where I was.  There was nothing more I wanted to do then grab a soda or more caffeine but I held strong.  Tired is typically another weakness…because I feed myself all day to keep some energy going.  I did try some “Wheaties Energy Bites” and let me tell you - the last word describes best my feeling on them.  By the time dinner rolled around (again thankfully fed by my sister) I had eaten a banana all day.  I probably had a little more macaroni and cheese then I should have but I still did my best.  Yes…I did have a piece of birthday cake to - had to celebrate for my niece!  (turns 4 tomorrow)  My last weakness exposed for the day is in driving medium/long distances.  I have always bought some kind of caffeine and snack before a drive like that…mostly because I’m bored and it was something to do.  I had to stop for gas this evening and decided it was best to not even go in the store….I only had an hour to drive I decided.  As I said, this day had disaster written on it and other then a little extra macaroni and a few Iron City beers (yes, Iron City) I feel that it was still successful.

This weekend was really a slap in the face reminder of why last Sunday I wrote my Day 0 entry and started down this road.  At some point, it is too late to stop and turn things around to make them better and slowly you go down a road with no return.  What is hardest about that path is that you don’t even realize what you really can’t do until the first time you fail at it.  That failure can stick and your mind and paralyze you with fear and uncertainty.  This is the point that somebody realizes that the return path may never go full circle because of the abuse you have put your body through getting where you are.  What if all it took was 50 extra steps each day over the course of 60+ years to be healthy - is that too much to do?  It occurs to me that working out is great and keeping on that path is something I will keep doing.  More of this journey lies in the few tiny activities we all too often skip because we are tired, or our knee/foot,/arm hurts too much, or because it might be too hard to do and forcing ourselves to do them and keep doing them day after day.  Doing that exact thing daily will be when I know I’ve arrived at the final goal…at which I won’t need a reward because I will have made the change my path and change my mindset.

LANDIS

(editors/writers note - if this is more ramble then normal I am on about 7 hours of sleep since Friday morning and have had one of the most stressful weekends of my life.  Thank you for understanding and reading)

Day 4

“Today I didn’t even have to use my A.K.  I got to say it was a good day.”

Thank you Ice Cube - without you I…well…I would be less happy today.  Today seemed more “routine” then the last few days which is good for me.  I’m a creature of habit(s) for sure and when something becomes routine then hopefully it sticks with me.  After a long day of work, I had a list of things I had to accomplish before bedtime - one of course was to head to the basement.  It definitely didn’t go as easily as I want but its early.  Once I had gotten it in my head I was going to do it I had the best workout yet.  More time on the elliptical and more time on the weights.  New secret learned - it takes exactly 1 hour for my washer to do a load of laundry.  So….I should take that as a time to workout.  (If you didn’t know already I’m the ultimate multi-tasker - ESPECIALLY with having a conversation in person and several in text messages at the same time) 

Started actually thinking of goals today but I’m not really sure where to go with them.  I definitely have an intermediate weight loss goal but I don’t want my ultimate goal to be a number.  I’m very goal oriented and will do whatever it takes to achieve one…problem is I don’t want to stop at a number because I don’t want to stop.  The best way I’ve heard it said was in an email today from a great friend - this isn’t a diet or an exercise program it’s a total change of lifestyle.  So, my long term goal needs to be a little different on this…but I’m really not sure what.  I also want to think of reward for the goal - something big and something I want.  Its probably not overly surprising that I have a better thought for the reward then I do for the goal.  (maybe its because I want so many things?)

I am going to push myself tomorrow morning - I WILL wake up early to do at least an elliptical run before I head off to work for the day.  I’m a little worried about the upcoming weekend so its important that I do this tomorrow.  I will be in York for a few days this weekend and obviously won’t have access to the gym I have in the basement.  There is also worry in my brain that any “routines” established will go away with the change of scenery.  So - if anybody out there lives in York and wants to go for a walk or something like that over the weekend - get in touch with me please.  I will be busy with many things, but I can GUARANTEE I will want/need to get away, if only for sanity. 

I suppose I should finish my list of stuff to do tonight.  Never thought I would procrastinate by writing my inner thoughts on a computer while listening to Rage Against The Machine.  Nope…sure didn’t see that one coming!

Landis

Day 1

Day 1

Wow - what a bad day to be Day 1?!  Spent today at the US Open in Bethesda hosting people for my company.  There was food  and drink set in front of me all morning/afternoon/evening - quite honestly every 2 hours a new serving of fresh food was set out.  I certainly could have made every excuse to feed myself all day but I didn’t.  (ok maybe I had 2 servings of meatballs but they were freaking amazing)  I was able to control and forced myself to drink only water all day.  Score 1 for the big guy?

Thankfully, this also gave me an opportunity to enjoy the beautiful day and walk around the country club.  So, I spend the majority of the afternoon strolling around the golf course, to the merchandise tent, to the practice greens, to the practice tees and back again.  After getting home I decided that the meatballs meant I needed to do something else active so I took to the basement to lift weights again.  All in all - can’t complain.

No more thoughts for tonight…too tired to think.

Landis