Day 276 - 322 NFAFFK

WARNING - the following entry contains foul language and may or may not involve situations involving excrement - please proceed with caution.  If you think any of this to be offensive…I have no idea why we are friends.  

Everything That Has A Beginning Has An End

When One Door Closes, Another Opens

Yea - so you may get the idea that I will be waxing philosophical tonight - and that will probably be at least a little bit true.  (but then you read the warning label at first and I’m sure you are thoroughly confused)  Rest assured, I am just as confused as you, but we will get through this together.  Or not.  But most likely we will.

I think.

Hopefully.

Where to begin?  Well - a little review.  When I last left you I was telling all about the wonders of Soldierfit and effectively trying to sell everybody on coming in to try.  (PS - now opening a new location in Owings Mills, MD - closer to a lot of people I know…c’mon now!)  I had also decided to skip the Steelers PSL tickets as well, which is still a shock to me.  (growing up and making adult decisions sucks!)  Well - I am happy to say that I am still Soldierfit’s biggest fan and you MUST come try.  Period.  The end.  Word up.

Back to the matter at hand.  What exactly am I talking about when I am talking about endings and beginnings?  Well, over the last few weeks, things have started to change again in this great journey.  I have taken to another slow down in weight loss but because of the workouts I have started to build up on muscle.  But this did not come with its amount of hardships/trials/tribulations but thankfully no LANDIS SMASH moments.  So, I knew a few things about a few things and knew that when I started doing more intense workouts such as Soldierfit (perhaps I can go a paragraph later without saying the name…..perhaps) I should start to change my diet to increase protein to help muscles grow and rebuild faster and increase my water intake.  So, I did just that.  A little bit of knowledge can be dangerous though…especially when it comes to my fine looking yet mostly dumb ass.  So, after a few weeks of this change I started feeling…well…like I should be in one of Jamie Lee Curtis’ Activia commercials.  (this could be where the top warning kicks in FYI and by could be I mean don’t read any further if you are easily offended)  So I figure - eh - a few days won’t hurt.  But then a few days becomes a week and then two weeks.  (you get the drill)  All of this is fine - I can deal until I step on the scale one fine day and realize that I am now increasing in weight.  Then things start to get serious.  (again, no LANDIS SMASH)  Amazingly, I literally was exactly what I have been told by my parents/teachers/friends/girlfriends for my entire life - full of shit.  When this happens - life becomes exactly what you wish you could do - shit.  So now what?  I did everything right, didn’t I?  Well, being right didn’t exactly matter at this point…showing number 2 who was boss mattered.  I ate a lot of Activia - and I mean a LOT of it…Jamie Lee Curtis F U - it doesn’t work that well…of course I was in no interest of waiting 3 weeks either.  I even scheduled a doctor appointment - which is happening tomorrow - more later.  So I took drastic measures…and went to CVS.  Now….(anybody who knows my mom cannot share this next sentence - thanks) I have been to stores to buy condoms before, and I’ve even bought exes “feminine” products but for some reason I kept my sunglasses on and head down when buying “Maximum Strength”  (written in very large and bold printing) Ex Lax.  Yes, I know Everybody Poops, but not everybody at CVS needs to know that I’m NOT doing that.  (and I realize the irony of me caring that day now as I write this but whatever)  The next day was just glorious.  Truly.  Glorious.

So - what did I do wrong?  (after the next day I could then again care about what I did wrong)  So I started doing some reading, research, asking people for help and finally some numbers calculations.  I’m no expert, nor do I play one on TV but here are some things I’ve learned.  Hopefully someone reading this will not have to experience a shitty problem such as this.  (pun intended - I’ve got jokes…bad ones)  So, I did mostly right things - eating more protein is good and drinking more water is also good.  What I didn’t do though was something that seems counterintuitive.  I didn’t increase calorie intake at all.  (that’s right - INCREASE)  So, I’ve gone along now for 10 months with same idea - eat less and workout more.  It worked and worked well as a matter of fact.  So, it seems to make sense that with the amount of working out I was doing, if I kept the same food intake, things would only work better/faster/more/etc.  So, that is what I went with and drove me straight into another plateau and even slight weight gain.  (poop related of course)  You see, there is this term in reference to said excrement called “bulk” and it is pretty much what you think it is.  I had done the right thing with eating more protein - but as a side effect things are “harder” inside you so you drink more water to counteract that…but when you increase protein and don’t increase calories you are effectively eating less mass of food…thus the issue is “bulk”.  So - I have a new normal - on days that I do workout - I am increasing my calorie intake by 250-300 more calories and on days that I don’t I will only increase from where I was 100 calories.  So far so good…things are regular.  (I’m sure that you care)

OK - for all of those who are offended - you can start here again

Well now that the awkwardness of my regularity is over - lets talk about this whole beginning and ending thing.  What does it mean?  Double Rainbow - oh my god!  A part of this process has ended really today and a new one has begun.  Today I end my focus on losing the most amount of weight that I can and start a new part - maintaining the weight I am (and losing a few more in the process) and really working to firm up and gain muscle everywhere.  My thinking absolutely has to change here - because from here on the process will begin to slow down some.  Gone will be the days of large changes in body/weight/size but this is where the hard work will show over the next few months and going forward.  This kicks off today with my biggest challenge to date - kicking the scale habit.  Not many of you know this, but I have also been addicted to the scale since last June.  (proven by the fact that I have taken it with me on trips so I could use it - sad but true)  I have been a habitual twice a day on the scale guy - once right after I wake up and once right before I go to bed.  If I’m to succeed at the above mission - this has to change.  So, as of this morning’s weigh in, I am going cold turkey from the scale until next Monday.  It is quite nice that my 100 pound announcement could come on such a momentous occasion.  I will say after I stepped on the scale this morning and saw the number - I started doing jumps/leg kicks like a cheerleader.  (I’m going to let that mental image sink in for a minute….yea….you know you are picturing that hotness right now)  So, after that I put it away in my closet and will resist the urge to step on it this week.  My body will change from day to day - sometimes for the best and sometimes for the worse - but that is all a part of what I’m doing - so the scale will have no power over me.  (I’m actually pointing in the direction of the scale now as I write)  Realistically, my goal hasn’t changed - still going for 199.9 pounds and healthy body fat % and a 34 inch waist - the process on how to get there has changed.  This is what I like to think will be my new “normal” of life.  I have gotten through the fast and furious stage to arrive at the beginning of maintenance of weight and shaping of body.  Who would have ever known this would happen one day?

Last but not least this evening - a few words on the whole clothes and dressing situation.  One day, it dawned on me as I wore an XL shirt that seemed to be a little bit big on me that perhaps I’m not an XL any longer, I’ve only been buying them out of habit.  So, for shits and giggles I bought myself a t-shirt that was size L for the first time since I was 12.  I walked up to the register and felt like I was going to be found out - somehow the fashion police would see that I was buying L and would come down from above and tell me that I don’t qualify for that size - thank you try again.  (I realize that I could have just tried on the shirts but I’m a man and HATE to shop much less try shit on)  But no fashion police stopped me, the clerk didn’t look at me like - yea right that fat ass isn’t fitting in this…I just paid and said thank you.  I got home and was just plain nervous.  Tried it on and boom - it was the right size for me.  To me, that was my first life changing event - the realization that I wasn’t XXL or even XL any longer - I was just L.  I could/can go into any store and buy a shirt.  Hell, I might even go into Abercrombie to buy a shirt now just because I can.  They can’t look down at me and think - “we don’t want his size in here”  (side note, I would just return it right away because I’m not actually wearing something from there)  Then a day later I got new jeans size 36 which was another life changing moment.  Perhaps not as significant as the shirt size, but again a size I hadn’t been in many, many years.  Its truly the little things in life that keep me smiling.

Now for the numbers:

322 days without soda/tea (really anything but water, coffee and beer - gotta have the beer)
100 pounds lost since my heaviest weight (312)
90 pounds lost in the last 275 days
77 pounds lost since starting my heavy workout phase (281 days)
12 pounds until my ultimate goal (199.9) and I already have my reward
My current weight is now 212 pounds
Body Fat % is currently 25% (down significantly)
BMI is 28.8  (this is now just in the “overweight” category and not obese - win!)

A sincere thanks and sharing of gratitude goes out to anybody who has reached out to me with words of encouragement over the last 322 days.  I truly couldn’t have gotten where I am today without everybody in my life.  Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that I’m done writing - no - the new journey is just beginning.  There will be many more things to learn and share in hopes that others will take the first steps to a new person.  The person they have always wanted to be.

Much love,

LANDIS